8. Freedom

Freedom

This Blog is part of my List of things that are neccessary for happiness. 

my boyfriend having a talk with one of his hostel guests

A certain kind of freedom is becoming rare. It is important to remind yourself from time to time that you actually have a choice in some situations, and only because one of the choices seems so obvious and so given, it is worth to reflect about alternatives and to look in which directions you actually have the space to move. 
For example if you are thinking what to study after graduation. Since I come from a relatively privileged high school, where most of the kids where children of doctors, laywers and diplomats, they saw their own choice in this narrow window of academical paths. One of my friends classmate's answer when asked what she wanted to become when she grew up was: a shepherd. 
People where asking, a shepherd? They thought she was being rebellious and a troublemaker. People where laughing, thinking she was making jokes. People kept laughing and shaking their heads. But now I met her again. She owns a little piece of land and some goats and sheep and is making her own cheese. Different types of cheese actually. And people are paying a lot for it. It is very tasty and cremy and I am ordering at least for 15€ every two weeks. 

one of the specialties that my shepherd friend is making

Now what has this cheese to do with freedom? Well, that person was keeping a certain freedom in her perspective. She kept the view for her own life wide open to all kinds of possibilities. She didn't let them be narrowed by the prospects that others around her had for her. 

This is a very important lesson for us to learn in order to understand what freedom actually means. Of course this is just one case and it happens to take place in a western world of comfort and privilege where people usually don't feel so unfree (or maybe don't see how unfree they actually are). 
We can imagine more extreme situations of choices where for example a young woman is considered to be only honorable if she is married to a man, who has a job and can reproduce with her and also keep the children alive. 
I've met women who where born into a world where the window of perspectives for them was narrowed down to this: Being someone's wife. They often grew up helping their moms with the cooking and washing (washing clothes for the whole family by hand) and housekeeping. They saw their brothers going outside to the beach to play or to learn how to ride a bike, while they themselves had to stay at home and only socialize with other girls or women in their own house. They grew up seeing their mothers being a house slave to the husband and the sons. They saw all the other girls around them doing the same thing. They were told that a woman walking around in shorts and going to the beach has no respect for herself and is going to be a prostitute. Because these where the only 2 options in that window of perspectives for women: Either a prostitute who can earn money and feed herself, but who will never find a husband and will never be respected by society, or a wife who is tied to the will of a husband who is her master. 

To me both choices sound horrible. And I feel very sorry for the women who are only given these two options by their families. I know that these situations are limited and certainly less free than the situation of my shepherd friend, but sometimes the problem doesn't only lie in the outer forced limits set by families and laws. Sometimes the problem can lie in the lack of knowledge of the individual herself. If the young woman who is about to be married only knew that there could also be other possible options, she would maybe emancipate herself from the oppressive situation. But without knowledge of the whole span of possibilities there is no impulse for a free decision. 

That is why freedom comes with education and with the ability to see what is possible. There are many projects that work on exactly this problem. It is always hard to open the minds of people who live in societies that have very narrow views on how to live a good life. But with tender education it is possible to even make the families of these women understand that the life as a free educated and self empowered woman doesn't have to be a dishonorable one. 







This TED-Talk is held by a young woman who was brave enough to open the window of possibilities for herself to a wider one where she could make a free choice.
There is also an interesting movie called "Mustang". It is about the freedom of five sisters taken away by their conservative oncle and how they try to break free.




As we can also see in the movie freedom starts with the choice. All kind of passivity and purely bearing a situation that is miserable isn't enough. Freedom can be painful and scary. Freedom can be risky and life threatening, but sometimes the choice of freedom is the way that leads to happiness and that is important to remember whenever you feel trapped in a situation that is miserable and that doesn't seem like the right choice. And in some extreme situations freedom is only possible with help from someone outside. But it is always good to educate yourself about your options and possibilities outside of the main range and to keep your eyes open for new ways to go.